can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize