I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize