I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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