she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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