don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
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The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
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I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just puked most of my soul out..
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