he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
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I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
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You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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