OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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