I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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