are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
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He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
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I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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