He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
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Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
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Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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