My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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