what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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