how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
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I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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