I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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