I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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