Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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