Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
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Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
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If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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