I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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