all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
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I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
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He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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