I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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