Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize