Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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