do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize