...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize