Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
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We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
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This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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