He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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