There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize