Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize