Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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