Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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