I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize