Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
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i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
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Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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