Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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