I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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