So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Its about making memories worth repressing
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
That accounts for only three of the penises
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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