1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize