it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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