Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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