Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
there was a trapeze. enough said
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize