The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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