My Higher Power is John Stamos
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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