maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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