The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize