i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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