My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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