I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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