Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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