Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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