i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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