I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize